True Loyal Friends
Respect, Manners and Failures
…just some griefing thoughts about the loss of morals, respect and manners! Have you ever wondered, why real friendships in this 21st century seem to be a ‘mission impossible’? What is wrong with people nowadays, what is going on in this world? Why do people perform so aggressive and reckless?
How easy and meaningless use people the terms ‘friends’ or ‘real friendships’ these days and do they actually really care? If you are lucky and you have got true loyal friends, or you experience other people being true loyal friends to each other, be sure these friends are friends for decades already. It seems, that nowadays such stuff as loyalty, honesty and respect obviously doesn’t count anymore.
Yeah, sure .. you’ll find thousands of wise love and friendship poems about all that, but in real life, it seems to be just utopia or fantasy! When exactly did we give up on values, since when is RESPECT an extraterrestrial mystery? Are manners out of fashion as well? If you get to see, how some contemporaries communicate with each other, it just makes you wonder.
I have experienced a few of these so-called ‘keyboard warriors’ before, especially these on FaceBook – feeling safe and mighty under the cap of invisibility – offending others and behaving like uneducated savages. What for? What is the pleasure in presenting yourself as bad as possible? What do you gain from that? Thanks a bunch for the ‘block option’ on FaceBook. Just one click and woooshhhh … and peace to me. I have got only that one life, and I am not willing to have it poisoned by miserable people.
Have you ever noticed, how some people change out from nowhere and nothing? You follow a conversation, for example, just a random unimportant chat about things and stuff, all funny, all friendly, a good giggle all together. And then all of a sudden, the whole conversation shifts from light to surreal and ends up in you getting offended by people, getting things thrown at you, that you wouldn’t throw at your worst enemy.
That’s so not my cup of tea… I believe in respecting people and treating people the way I would like to be treated. (And I also believe in karma!) I have asked myself so many times, what parents have raised these guys? Is this a matter of ‘new generation rules’? All, that we have learned and been given by our parents, just a waste of time? All use- and pointless?
I might be old-fashioned, but if having manners implies being old-fashioned, I love being old-fashioned! I am over 50 years old and have met so many people from all countries, backgrounds, different cultures and nationalities. I have come across a lot in my life, have been through a lot, as we all have. But I have never failed in respecting others! If somebody can’t control his (or her) own temper and words, how easy to blame everybody else and give others a hard time!
People are joining heaps of online groups, webinars and courses, they call it ‘self-improvement’! Self- improvement, in my opinion, starts with yourself, start improving on your own basic social manners before participating in civilized friendly conversations! I really think I am getting too old and tired for this behaviour, I had to deal with all this as a teenager, 30~40 years ago, just not as mean as nowadays.
Actually, isn’t it a pity… how easy could we live in peace and harmony and have a good time while we are here?! Why do some people love stress and dispute? Do they need that to be happy? Is this the ‘air that they breathe’, their daily feeling of success? Is life not tough enough anyway? Do they need to put a spoke in other’s wheel?
Sometimes I am not sure, should I, after all, feel sorry for those people, who can’t just go with the flow and enjoy the little things in life? Who can’t just live and let live, without giving others a hard time, just because they are not happy themselves with what they’ve got? Oh dear, what’s wrong? I think I have never before been happier about getting older.
How lucky are we oldies, we had the privilege to learn, how to behave and what really matters in this life …. how blessed are we!
If you don’t agree or have a different point of view or even an explanation for this common rudeness, I would love to read about in the comments.
Cheers, Klaudia xx
related post : Faithful friends are hard to find …
I know what you mean. I see people everyday (especially on social media), who call each other best friends or bffs when they barely know each other. I myself don’t have plenty of friends because like what you said, most people don’t respect the true meaning of friendship anymore. Like they call you their “best friend” when you’re hanging out together but talk about you behind your back. You don’t really know who to trust anymore.
Some people are so negative, they can not stop complaining. They can not stop being negative. It’s so true that those people are their own biggest obstacle. I think these keyboard warriors maybe don’t dare to say so much in real life and try to feel big behind their computer.
The definition of ‘friends’ has changed so much in the course of the years… Mostly because of the introduction of Facebook and social media. Now most youngsters believe they have thousands of friends, when in fact, not really. Maybe we should discern quality over quantity in friendships and people that we keep in real life.
That’s how it is on online world. I am trying to get out from that circle but it’s hard to my current job requirements. Maybe just find my way on how to deal with these instances and set limitations as much as possible. Better let go thousands of friends online and stick with few ‘real’ ones.
Thank you very much for reading and leaving a comment . Omg , I feel sorry for you , it must be very tough if you have to deal with that , due to your job . I am sure , after a while , you will find (or have found already) how to build a shield around yourself. Thank god in private life you can just select , who does you good and who is not welcome .
I have loyal friends whom I can count on everytime I need them, and even if I don’t need them, they just pop out. Lol. I agree about your thoughts on all the stress and disputes that we can see and hear all around us- in the jeepney, in the mall and just anywhere. Something really is wrong with people these days. Maybe because of too much stress?
Thanks for reading Karen and you lovely comment ! Cherish your loyal friends ,people like this are priceless and very hard to find !
I’m 28 and I’m too old for this! I couldn’t agree more with you the importance of respect and good manners.
I was having this conversation with my partner a few weeks ago. We suspect that much of the problem stems from reality television that glorifies bad behaviour and manners etc. and from social media where everything is disposable and easily replaced.
I have admiration for your values and can say without a doubt that if people were more like you, the world would be a better place. Stay amazing 🙂
Very true , Kylie . These tv programs as well are ‘a pain’ , makes me always wonder , where do they find obviously millions of ‘monkeys’ , who want to do their laundry in public ?! If you see how successful these programs are …. oh dear . Thanks a lot for reading and leaving such a kind comment 🙂
I share w/ your observation what seems to be the lack of courtesy and loyalty nowadays. I guess this was brought about by the “instantness”, “anonymity” and people trying to “outbrag” each other on social media.
Youngsters thought relationships can be replaced as fast as they change their underwear, until they aged a little. Materialism, on the other hand, tends to make people use other people for personal gain. And anonymity brings the worst behavior of people. And some PR agencies can employ black ops tactics to destroy a person or a brand.
Thank you for coming over , Sonnie . Unfortunately , we won’t change this world. I think , just by refusing to be part of this mean game , we do our little bit ! Always a pleasure to read your posts or comments , I like smart people !!! 🙂
Courtesy and manners seem to be … I am not so sure because I have two thoughts on this. (1) People grew up with the mindset of knowing it all. (2) Simply because they can, the did.
One one hand, the word friends or friendship is overused, on the other hand, the rarity of true friends makes a true friend truly special.
Thank you , Mister Lee 🙂 Yes , you are so right . Some years ago , the term ‘friend’ had a totally different meaning ! I think , this really has got to do with (mostly FB) social platforms . Within seconds you can ‘befriend’ people , you know nothing about . I am very careful with the word friend , but when I call somebody a friend , then I MEAN it .
I agree. I find that as I am getting older I have great friends but there is something special about my friends that have been my friends for decades. Maybe it is us nowadays that don’t have time to build that loyalty so friends stay at a different level than those who you have had time to build trust with. I don’t think that being friends means that you put up with disrespect either.
Unfortunately, yes. I’ve found that some people need that type of negative interaction. It’s their oxygen. If only we had an IRL block feature.
Thanks a lot for reading , Liv . Sad , but true , isn’t it ?
I think I needed to read this. Just yesterday, a friend posted about his favored candidate in the upcoming presidential election. I shared my thoughts about it, and maybe I did sound snarly that he also responded the same way. Next thing I knew he already posted a long piece on his wall, I responded by posting my own opinion on my wall.
I have always been an opinionated person. Sometimes I speak what’s on my mind. Sometimes I keep it to myself. I’m not sure if it’s because the weather was too hot yesterday that I was in a very argumentative state. I do love my friend despite our difference in opinions. But I think we lack respect for each other when we differ on opinions.
It’s something that maybe we could work on. I have lost many friendships already because I have the tendency to not tolerate people who messes with me. I have a long way to go.
Of course friends and quality friendship is really important. Those ‘keyboard warriors’ are the worst, I don’t get their point. They are so indifferent and true bullies.
Thanks , David ! Yes , you’re right . Bullies is probably a good term for such specialists , I either don’t get their point , but I don’t think , we actually NEED to 🙂 Have a lovely bully-free weekend , thanks for reading !
You should definitely feel sorry for those people, it is their loss!
Thanks a lot for reading , Abbie . Yes , actually you are right !
Great article Claudia! I wonder all the time what has happened to the manners of this world. I really might be old fashioned here as well but I believe in manners should be a part of everyday life.
Thanks a lot , Todd . It really bothers me , and is a shame actually ! If you see how people behave , especially on social media ( as in real life ..face to face , they wouldn’t have the guts ) it is frightening ! But , have a look around , you can tell by so many kids now already , what adults they’re gonna be one day . Yes , absolutely happy to be ‘old school’ , can’t thank my parents enough for that !
I am doing the #atozchallenge and my post for “L” was on Loyalty because it is something that is slowly disappearing from friendships today. We need friends we can trust and rely on – we need to have integrity and honesty in our friendships. I’m learning to let some friends go if they aren’t who they appear to be – I don’t want stress or falseness in my friends! Leanne @ cresting the hill
Thank you very much , Leanne , for this great post ! Read it ,love it ..you are so right , let go what and who gives you a hard time , life is to short and precious to deal with such stuff ! Have a lovely weekend yourself !