8 questions to ask before moving together
How long should you actually date before moving in together? Is there a certain rule or formula for that? In fact, as with age, numbers mean just nothing nowadays. Important is whether you are at the right stage of your relationship and all you need is to make sure you and your partner are ready to spend day and night together. Hm, how?
It’s pretty remarkable how people’s opinion about relationships has completely changed. Dating nowadays apparently happens virtually and all sorts of personal preferences are listed neatly. Well, it saves you a lot of time and excitement, just skip the whole romantic getting-to-know-each-other-phase and go with the flow. How about following the concept of the Married at First Sight experiment? Leave it up to relationship experts to find a Yan for your Yin and marry a stranger. It’s crazy, right? But hey, surprisingly many of those couples are still married.
However, one thing seems to never change, the desire for finding the perfect match. Finding somebody to feel safe with, to laugh with, to feel respected and loved. One of the many dating sites I visited, Russian Brides,claims that today’s modern women are too career-focused and have lost the sense for tradition and family-orientation. Is it possible that we are not compatible anymore? Below you can find some questions for you both that might shed light on whether moving in together can be the right step to take for you.
1. Have you seen your girlfriend without makeup?
Yes, you could simply get scared to death in the morning! Alternatively, if you saw her no-make-up, sick or crying face (when makeup only worsens the look) and still ready to move in, there is something more than affection between the two of you. Living together can be the next step in your relationship.
2. Are 3-4 dates a week not enough for both of you?
You try to spend every free minute talking or texting your date. You wish the date never ended and can’t get a thought about moving in out of your head… You can choose the date when to move in together. Don’t forget to ask your spouse whether he/she feels the same way. In fact, both of you must answer “Yes” to all these questions.
3. Do you sometimes feel bored with each other?
There are many couples having the best time in places of entertainment, surrounded by other people. They both love spending time with friends in restaurants, cinemas or clubs.
However, as soon as they remain one-on-one they arrive at Boredomland. If you have got nothing to talk about when being alone with your date, how are you going to spend day and night together in the same apartment?
4. Can you accept your partner’s quirks?
You do not care about him chewing too loud and he – when you correct his grammar. The thought of changing each other never pops up in your mind, because each of these traits is part of the person you love. If you disagree and hope to “fix” your partner after moving in, there is no way your plan, eventually, works.
5. How do you imagine your future life together?
Is that a bright picture of you two having delicious romantic dinners every day that finishes with the best sex ever or there are dirty dishes, clothes, cleaning days and quarrels about who is to take out the trash? Think well on that one. Although you might have some bad associations, are you ready and know how exactly to deal with these? Great, you can start moving in together before marriage.
6. Have you found a suitable place that both of you adore?
Sometimes men ask women to move in despite they live with a bunch of their relatives already. It is not a secret, that’s a, let’s say, suboptimal idea.
And don’t blame or force your girlfriend into giving in just to please you. One thing is asking to live with you. The other, blaming for saying ‘NO’ to your mom, sister and granny.
7. Have you already discussed the financial issues?
Who is going to pay the rent? (if it is not your property) Who will buy the food? Will you have the ‘couple’ budget? If it so, how much each of you is to put in? Boring and uncomfortable questions to ask before moving together, but clear answers will guarantee you a life without misunderstandings and arguments on the topic. It’s actually a win-win thing for both of you. You couldn’t find a better indicator whether you are ready for compromises. If you discussed such issues and managed to come to a good and fair result, congratulations! Your daily routine will hardly spoil your future.
8. Should we move in together?
Nobody is going to give the ultimate answer to this question except the two of you. Discuss it together trying to express your thoughts directly and if you think it could work, let’s move!