How to Subtly Smarten Up your Partner
“From Zero to Hero”
Has your significant other been a bit lax in the grooming department lately? Is his failure to spruce himself up taking a toll on your relationship? Perhaps now that the pressure of the holidays has passed him by, he’s taken to shaving only once a week – or worse, wearing sweatpants for longer than the approved night-to-morning period.
Or maybe he just hasn’t splurged on anything new for his wardrobe lately, and you’re getting tired of seeing him in the same flannel shirt day in and day out.
All right, so maybe it isn’t the same exact shirt every day – but it sure feels like it, doesn’t it? If any of this sounds familiar, fear not – there are ways of persuading him to kick it up a notch without openly haranguing him about his appearance.
If you proceed with caution, he likely won’t even notice your interference. Here are a few ideas on how to ‘create your own superhero’
• 1. Start with the shower
When it comes to shopping for the next round of bathroom supplies, choose wisely. Unless he already insists on picking out the toiletries (and if he does that, you probably don’t need any help in this department anyway), stock up on plenty of exfoliating scrubs and shampoo-conditioner hybrids. He’ll have to use what’s on hand, and feeling the difference might spur him into making more drastic changes.
• 2. Suggest a relaxing couple spa day
If it’s been a while since your last massage or facial, tell him you’re overdue and would love to make a relaxing couple spa day of it. Make it sound as if he’d be humouring you by going along. If he refuses to accompany you, buy him a gift certificate on your way out and suggest that he use it for his next haircut.
• 3. Compliment his appearance as often as possible
While this might sound counterproductive, it will actually work in your favour. Telling him to ditch the uninspiring outfit isn’t likely to put him in the right mood to take your advice.
Instead, tell him how much you love the way he looks in certain styles, and express your desire for him to dress that way more often.
• 4. Give him a lead to follow
The next time you go shopping for clothes, make sure he’s with you. Hit all the best stores that stock prime threads for both men and women, and take your time browsing the racks. Odds are good that he’ll use the time to find a few things for himself – after all, what else does he have to do?
If you’ve primed him by telling him which of his outfits you like best, then he’ll already be on the lookout for fashion duds that play to his strengths. If he refuses to go along, all is not lost. Just pick out a shirt or two for him yourself while shopping alone, and stress that it was no trouble since you were in the store anyway.
When it comes to dressing sloppily, simple lethargy is the culprit more often than not. Speaking of lethargy, the internet provides another good way to coax him into shopping for himself. Check out a personal style service website like StitchFix, and urge him to give it a look while you’re receiving tips. He just might decide he wants a turn.
• 5. If all else fails, ‘fess up!
Say you’ve tried all of the above, and he cottons on to your plan. How do you respond? First of all, try to avoid getting defensive. This sets the wrong tone, makes you look controlling and manipulative, and could too easily lead to an argument. Instead, tell him honestly why you want him to look his best, and that you were only trying to be helpful. When you’re caught red-handed, humility is the only way to go.
Remember – Just about everyone has to get dressed, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to coax him into dressing slightly better than he has been. Even if he needs a little nudge right now, he’s sure to take the reins himself eventually.
Best of luck!