Empty Nest Syndrome
When Life Switches Over to ‘Desperate Housewife Mode’
Empty nest syndrome sucks… big time!
How to get back to happiness after you can’t focus on the family anymore? The thrill of love and marriage has gone and you’re feeling nothing but a redundant left-over. The husband, however, gone. The kids have grown up and are living their own lives with their own little families… and now? Empty nest depression is a very common phenomenon, although many women will deny despite knowing their despair.
Boredom and time in abundance seem to be your worst enemies. When I was forced to face this daily feeling of blankness – in my case due to illness which led to losing job & social life and feeling very limited in perspectives – I discovered the joy of writing. Thus, I thought I might as well write a post about and share some positivity and confidence with you. What to do with yourself after all? Let’s try to break it down into a clear and concise format to give you some vital tips on the best ways to improve your quality of life.
1. Find a New Hobby
Empty nest syndrome issues start with loneliness and emptiness before you will fall into an empty nest depression. You need to keep yourself occupied and distracted from brooding and feeling sorry for yourself. Nobody to care for, nobody to clean and wash for, too much spare time. You need a new hobby! Don’t sit there waiting without knowing what you’re actually waiting for. Get up and find a new purpose, a new life.
Here you can find information on how to start, where to find lessons, beginners equipment, books, videos and more. Try different things to find something you really like.
2. Meet New People
Let’s face it, meeting new people and making new friends is hard. Sometimes it’s just about finding the right spots or activities that suit you, whether you love to party and nightlife or quiet in-person activities. If you are more the introvert type of person, get information online first. There are some really great apps to find, where you can meet people virtual before deciding whether to date or not. No, not dating apps, just ‘meeting-people-apps’
Party with a Local, for example, is a free app that connects travellers and locals that want to party. Discover new friends, and friends of friends, you’d never normally meet. Search online for more apps.
3. Get a Pet
You love animals, but for some reason can’t have a pet yourself? Ever thought of caring for a shelter animal? Join a dog walker group, find a pet to care for. Make yourself needed again.
Loving care, safe shelter and a second chance are what your support will give to these poor animals and you’ll get plentiful love and devotion back in return. You will be surprised, how your self-esteem will cheer up. From food donations to fostering dogs, animal shelters are always in need of support.
4. Become Selfish
There’s a common misconception out there that being selfish is a bad thing. This is wrong, wrong and completely wrong! Selfish people are the ones who make the world go round, who create art and civilization. Selfishness is the key to living a happy and successful life. Define what’s important to you. You need to be selfish only on stuff that really matters. The rest can always be handled depending on your mood. Maybe one day you’ll feel particularly giving and willing to make a self-sacrifice, that’s okay but never feel obligated to do so. Life is one series of compromises. Don’t be selfish about everything, but you should be selfish on what would make you the best person you can be.
5. Learn How to Say NO
Instead of pleasing others and constantly saying yes, explore living for yourself. If saying no is an issue for you, force yourself guilty, but as with anything, practice makes the habit. If you don’t want to sacrifice your health, money or time, set priorities! source: How to Be Selfish
6. Discover Literature
An essential manner in which many people develop in life is to check out literature. Reading can help us find out a lot about ourselves. There are really great self-help books that help us to improve our lives and search for ways to be a better human being. Rather of watching television or surfing the web, attempt checking out a good book and see just how much you can grow.
7. Find Local Groups and Join Activities
Surround yourself with like-minded people doing things that you would love to do. Seek positive vibes from positive minds. They can give you advice on the best ways to reach your goals, and you can show them the lessons you have found out getting there. Meettheneighbours.org is an online resource that offers a chance for you to actually really meet your neighbours, via the Internet. While not all neighbourhoods have signed up yet, you may be surprised to find yours. Events, activities and message boards are just part of the fun.
Establish an assistance structure of people and appreciate their feedback on how you are doing with your self-improvement strategies. Others will be grateful for your advice, too. Remain proactive in all scenarios and avoid a reactive mindset. This positive technique is the best approach to follow as you are taking action first. You aren’t awaiting others and you aren’t reacting to situations, you are taking control! Think with a proactive state of mind instead of reactive.
Now, that you can’t focus on the family anymore, a certain level of openness and willingness is essential for your self-improvement mission. Be open and appreciate the little things and achievements in life. Permit yourself a bit of enjoyment. Learn to be content with things you can not change, be it your family situation, in 2017’s incomes, loss of dear friends and what else life provides for you. Once you are able to accept these long-term changes in your life, you are all set to change the things you can control. Benchmarks and achievements are great, but when you base your self-worth simply on these elements you are setting yourself up for failure.
“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” Albert Ellis
If emptiness, loneliness and despair have taken hold of your life and won’t go away, you may have an empty nest depression. Any depression makes it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. Based on nationwide statistics only 2 in 10 people struggling with depression seek treatment for their condition. Some people just do not understand that they have a depression, others deny. In this video, Helen M. Farrell examines the symptoms and treatments of depression and gives some tips on how you can help a friend who is suffering.
However, most experts believe that the main reason for people feeling depressed is that they don’t feel loved or accepted as they are. Remember to start with yourself, you must love yourself to become lovable to others. There are a few things you can do to better yourself and they have actually been explained to you here in this article.
If you would like to tell us your story or to share some helpful tips, please don’t hesitate. Feel free to leave your reply below in the comment field. If you’re a blogger make sure to include your link, so I can easily find you and reciprocate!
Thank you so much for your precious time!